Default Bottom

Am I really a bottom?

Funny how one's gay sexual identity is tied to sexual position. The problem is that the answer to the question is so much more complex. I know gay men who love the feeling of getting fucked. They love the feel of cock in their ass, massaging their prostate. I know other gay men who are so into physically getting fucked, but get off on being fucked mentally. They love a tough man on top of them or behind them pounding their ass. Of course their are men who truth be told enjoy the sensation of being fucked, but can't over the stigma in their heads that being fucked is a position of weakness or submission so they mentally can't enjoy what they physically like.

There are so many stigmas to being "fucked up the ass". In slang terms to be "fucked up the ass" is the ultimate in being hosed, shit on, degraded. The general connotation is very degrading and I assume that some men enjoy being a bottom for the humiliation and submissive aspect of it. However, if you sexual predilections don't run to the submissive or sadomasochistic, the thought of putting yourself in this position can be very hard to take.

Truth be told I never decided I was a top or a bottom. With my first couple sex partners I was interested in both. Being less experienced I fell more on the receiving end rather than giving, but was I a bottom. It wasn't until I was with my current bf that the issue came to a head. My current bf views himself as a top (although I have fucked him a couple times). His tastes run to dominance and he likes his sex physical rather than romantic (I can explain better if I ever finish the post on sexual autism). Where the conflict arose was that I seem to receive the best receiving sensation if I am on top of a guy basically riding. Guess it is what you would call pretty aggressive bottoming. If your partner is dominant and a bit fussy - these two do not mix. Once my bf said that I wasn't really a bottom - he knew what a real bottom was - and they like to lay there and just take it.

For a while all of this was confusing.

Well let me make a confession. One reason I do not attempt to top more is an insecurity about cumming prematurely. If you are like me and can cum at the drop of a dime, the sensation of a nice tight ass, can make you blow in seconds. It just takes the fun out of it, worrying that I will cum too soon and not satisfy the man under me or ruin my rare chance to fuck a hot ass. Even if I love the feeling.

What is my ideal?

I once had a fuck bud who could kiss for hours. He was very sexual and fun and accepting. Sex wasn't about roles, or positions it was just about enjoying and doing what felt right. Both he and I could cum multiple times and just enjoyed spending time in bed. Whether I fucked him or he fucked me didn't matter. He understood I was trigger happy and was more than happy to give me a blow job and fuck me and then for my third try let me fuck him. If I could cum a third time cool or not I fucked him until he came. It was all good.

So I guess you could say I am a default bottom. Do I enjoy being pounded by a big cock - not really, but if a hot guy presses the right buttons do I sometimes hop on and enjoy a dick up my ass? Sure thing. At least that is my story right now and I am sticking to it.