With a bang

I am visiting family.

My days are spent chasing around a nephew, hanging with my brother and sister-in-law, chatting with my parents.

Late at night when everyone goes to bed - I log on to some chat sights - watch porn on my laptop and masturbate. Last night I got off twice and of course stayed up too late.

I have talked about this before but for me there is something about rubbing a cock on a towel with my hands free to work my nips or chat with a hot stud as porn is playing that just feels so good.

If I can figure out how to do a poll I would love to know different ways guys get off!

Maybe midnight, New Years Eve instead of kissing family, or some hot stud or the man I love - I will be shooting with a Bang!

HaPPy New Years!

The Joys of Family

I love my family.

Every time I visit I realize the price I pay for living so far away.

At the same time it is smothering experience with no personal time. I wish I could find a happy balance on my visits where I could enjoy them and get away for a couple hours to hang out and make contact with other gay men.

On Kissing

Some people only kiss with lovers.

Some bi-sexual men will suck cock, but draw the line at kissing another guy.

Some guys think that slobbering over your lips and jamming their tongue into your mouth is a kiss.

Some guys keep their lips tight and never relax, so kissing them ends up feeling wooden or as if rigor motise has set in.

For me – sex without kissing is not sex at all. Even though with a lover – a simple kiss in the expression of my deepest feelings – with a stranger it can be the incredibly hot expression of the physical pleasure one man can share with another.

To this day I remember clearly the first time I kissed a man. I was in the front seat of my 1984 Honda Civic. We leaned over the emergency brake and stick shift and lighting struck. In that moment energy surged through me and I practically impaled myself on the stick shift. All the years of repression suddently burst through a damn and I finally felt another man’s lips on mine, another man’s arms on mine another mans skin rubbing against mine. The kiss was firm confident and yet as we trembled in that car in the cold the puzzle fell in place.

A good kiss is always about a moment. Its always about two people learning about each other through their lips. It is a dialogue of lips, tongue, heads tilting to find the sweet spot. Kissing is the ultimate communication. The best kissers I have know were listening with their lips. Even with eyes closed they were reading clues – acting and responding – the perfect improvisation.

A good kisser is usually a good lover as long as he never looses sight of the kiss. Never puts his pleasure above mine, and never lets me forget that. Every sexual act after the kiss requires the same spirit.

An atheist and a jew on Christmas

Sounds like the beginnings of a bad joke (an atheist and jew walk into a bar ...), but seriously what do people do when Christmas day really have no meaning.

We got up and went to the gym. It was open until noon and it felt good to workout. Broomhilda at the front desk was especially surly. It must be a drag to work on Christmas but then again if you are going to be open on Christmas you shouldn't be nasty about it. Later today we will be exchanging gifts, but other than that it is just like any weekend day - without anything open. Right now the bf is playing video games and I am being a slacker - doing nothing.

We should have a christmas fuck but after our last attempt at sex I think neither of us wants to destroy the mood ( if you want to know about this - gotta leave a comment). Of course I could whack-off, but right now I am feeling lazy.

Later I will start cooking dinner. Its one of the joys of having time is the time to cook. Amongst my more meshugener things is the fact that I enjoy puttering in the kitchen - I guess that makes me really gay?

So besides promising to post more and encouraging people out there to share comments - that is all for now. If I get up the energy I will write about up a fantasy or sexual experience for you horn dawgs - until then -

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Meshugener tries to end it

meshuggener
adjective
1.	senseless; crazy [syn: meshugge]
noun
1.	(Yiddish) a crazy fool [syn: meshuggeneh]

It probably would not be a surprise to any of you that this happy blogger sees a shrink. Its odd because I generally think of myself as one of the most mentally stable people I know. Seeing a shrink has made me realize things about myself and is starting to push some long held boundaries. If you haven't tried it - I would suggest some sort of therapy for everyone. The hard part is finding the right person to work with. Even then it is a constant struggle because therapy is a relationship and when you are not getting the help/feedback/input/or guidance then you have to push back and work on the relationship. When your therapeutic issue is relationships then it becomes even harder to deal with.

So today I went to my session with full intention of taking a few month holiday. My insurance allows a certain number of sessions per year and I ran out - so I am paying full fare. That pain aside the thought of going to talk to him had become so anxiety producing that I did the cost benefit analysis and decided to take a break until insurance clicked in. Unfortunately, never go to a therapist and talk about finishing - because they will always talk you out of it. To give him his due - he was very accepting, but made some good points about things he thinks we can work on and I couldn't argue with him - fact is I just didn't want to deal.

Next week same time, same location I guess I am dealing.

Humping the Bed

When we first learn to masturbate we develop little quirks. Some of these quirks are get hard-wired and as we get older they are harder to loose. For me - it is humping the bed. I would much rather masturbate laying face down - my cock rubbing into a towel leaving my hands free to play with my nipples. Thinking back I am pretty sure that I discover this on my own - I think I read a passage in the book Ordinary People where the main character masturbates this way and I tried it. To this day have never lost the enjoyment. Guess that makes me quirky ...

Finishing

For the small number of visitors I apologize - there are two stories I have started and failed to finish. All I can say is it is sort of a life pattern. I am one of those people who is great at starting lots of projects and they languish. For those of you baseball fans - I basically need a relief pitcher or for those budding Sigmund Freuds out there in the ether of cyber space - I may have a fear of death that avoids completion. My weekend has been filled with stuff. At the office right now trying to complete some stuff for a meeting. Spent the morning at volunteer committee meetings on a committee I chair - can I tell you that it is hard work not screaming at well meaning volunteers who are busy-bodies! Anyhow, working through my seasonal affected disorder with exercise and a some comforting hugs from the bf.

Anyhow -I will try to complete some of the hot stories but some feedback and encouragement will go a long way - post it to the comments section - unless this novice blogger screwed up the settings!

Night with my Bud

This is just a fantasy. It is written especially for a buddy. I hope he likes it.

We meet in the hotel bar. Nothing fancy your generic dark wood place with TV's silently showing football highlights. You are already at the bar with a beer. I know its you because you see me and smile and stand up. You are taller than I expected. I pause and grin back shyly heading towards you. I put out my hand "Its great to finally meet you." You smile and pull me into a guy hug, like long lost frat brothers. The only thing that gives as away is the quick squeeze that betrays our desires as somethign more.

You offer me a beer and we move to a quiet couch in the corner. "Was the drive okay?" I answer but the small talk cannot cover over the lust and awkwardness of two strangers who know each other intimately through the words of computer chat and finally are met with reality. I smile thinking about this rather than whatever you are saying. "What is that smile for?" "Sorry I was just being amused by the fact you are infront of me after all those hot chats ..." I look in to your eyes with a question and that makes you blush, you reach down and pat my knee. "Its pretty cool." I look at you deep and my eyes wander up and down your body thinking how hot you are in person. "Let's go upstairs, why are we wasting time down here?" You smile back misheviously "... because I am enjoying letting the anticipation build."

The next half hour is a blur, we chat about nothing and the torturous pauses allow us to undress each other with our eyes. A loud crowd of people wander though the bar, prom? wedding party? You look a bit shy as if you are about to get caught - so I let my foot run down your long legs. I keep thinking that in our chats you could always look at my pics but all I had was a brief description, now in front of me you are really tall, muscular, but real. Did I realize then how piercing your eyes are, or the line of your jaw? I can't wait to get my tongue in those ears so sexily framed by your close cropped hair.

Abruptly I stand-up. Look down at you holding your beer sort of surprised by my action - "are you coming?" I hold out my hand to help you up. You swallow hard as if suddenly frightened by the reality that we are going to get naked. You stand not taking my hand and I just start walking towards the bank of elevators. Getting in before you catch up I hold it open waiting for you. I hit the elevator close button before anyone has a chance to get in but don't hit the floor. Smiling at you I back you into the corner. Lift my hand to the back of your head and pull you down to my height and lightly brush my lips over yours. You let out a deep sigh and open your lips a bit. I shift my head and our lips for a tight seal. Our hands grab on to each others waists to steady ourselves and we enjoy a deep long kiss. Stepping back I hit the button for the eighth floor and smile at you from the other side of the elevator cab.

The ride up seems to take forever, but I take full advantage. Maybe it was the beer or maybe its just finally meeting you, but as the elevator creeps up floor by floor, I run my hand along my growing bulge and look deep into your eyes. Reaching up I twist my nipple through my shirt and grope my pants - you act like you are about to step forward and I put out my hand to signal you to say where you are ... watching me stroke you mouth open until the elevator stops.

When the door opens we just stare at each other until I move quickly, grab you by the shoulders and push you into the hall. Standing behind you I guide you to room 808, reach around you to slide the key card and we stumble into the room. It is dark so I open the current to let the city lights glow and pull you on to the bed, crawling on top of your tall frame and give you a light kiss. "Is this alright?" Before you can say oh yeah ...... I graze my lips lightly over yours and slide my hands inside your shirt - hands roaming around your chest. Your hands feel fantastic as they knead my ass through my jeans. Sucking in your tongue our hips start to grind together and it becomes obvious that we are wearing too many clothes. Reaching down I pull off your shirt pausing with your hands over your head to lick your pits. Tangled up in the shirt, with me straddling your midsection you squirm as I run my tongue up your hairy pits and suck on your biceps. Teeth lightly grazing I go up and around your shoulders, down to your lats and around your pecs. Tongue extended I circle your nipple then lightly bite it and sooth the teeth marks with my wet tongue. By this time your have struggled out of the arms of your shirt, grab me and flip me on my back. We roll around the bed almost wrestling until you grab my jeans and pull them off. I lay back and let you go to work.

Fading Light

Like most people - I am feeling a profound loss of the light. Where I am it is pitch dark by 5:30 pm. Not being a morning person it is screwing with my emotions big time, so I am walking around either horny or pissed-off/grumpy. Oddly enough the more I think of myself as pissed-off and grumpy the happier I become! In the same way nothing cheers me up like a depressing song. Maybe I am like a pig rolling around in the mud. The more the fading light darkends my mood, the more I reveal in being brooding and nasty. If I try to fight it and act cheery I just become sad - if I embrace it I find it not only comforting, but empowering.

The Dark Cloud

I lead a charmed life.

That is the disclaimer for this post. Even though the two weeks it has felt like a dark cloud has been following me - I really have nothing to complain about. The fact I can sit here in the comfort of my home with my expensive laptop and know I still have a financial cushion puts me in the 99 percentile of privileged lucky people in the earth.

That being said - the last two weeks have been a pain-in-the ass! It all started with laziness. I decided not to return the rental car and switch it with my car which I left in the lot until after I stopped home to pee and have some dinner. Home was on the way and I thought I would go to the gym after I had done the car switch. I was even lazier and lounged around the house and finally decided to the switch at 9:30. When I pulled into the rental car lot - planning just to drop the keys in the night box - my car wasn't there! Called the police and they immediately told me it had been towed.

I had entered into "After Hours". If you haven't seen the classic Martin Scorsese film - it is the story of a man trying to get home - but things keep happening. For me I called the tow company to find out where my car was and got bounced to three different phone numbers. Was told by the final woman it would cost $120 cash but call the tow guy to meet me to get my car. I get cash out of the ATM and call the guy. He tells me it has to be $110 exact change. Fuck! I only have $20's. I go to convenience store to break a $20 and finally walk over to the tow lot.

I get to the tow place and no one is there. Just a great big flat bed truck infront - good, I have an AWD car and am thankful they used a flatbed cause my car would be toast otherwise. I call again and after circling a couple time I finally find the guy/ I am met by a over cheerful guy in his 40's. I follow him back to his office and he cheerfully explains how its not the rental car's place fault that his company has the contract to clear the lot cause people park there illegally. I try to explain to him the rental car place told me to leave my car there and he says sorry if it doesn't have a tag he tows it and then proceeds to tell me what time he towed my car. Fucking ten minutes before I arrived. I sign some paper get a receipt and go to my car.

Immediately I notice that there is a weird sound. So I drive around the block and back to the tow place to yell at the guy. He is still cheerful and irritatingly chatty. He goes into huge detail telling me how he towed my car to explain it isn't his fault and I am fuming cause I don't know how to argue with him. So I give up and start to drive away. Of course my car is overheating! I am almost home and I get a call on my cell phone - its the tow guy telling me I never paid him. He starts to be defensive on the phone saying he has it on camera and I feel my pocket and realize in all his saccharine shmoozing - he never collected from me. I try to shut him and say I will be right there and he implies I never intended to pay him. Fuck - its 10:30 at night. my evening has gotten completely screwed up and he thinks I am deceitful. Enraged I drive back to hand him the money my car whining and complaining the entire way.

To make this story short I will summarize what happens next. I take the car to three mechanics - all won't say that it is the fault of the tow, while really saying it is the fault of the tow. The first two won't even properly diagnose the problem. The third - the dealer offers to fix it for $900. Angered and already invested more hours trudging the car from mechanic to mechanic I tell them to fix it. Get another rental car - drop the car off. Of course when I go to pick it up - the dealer recommends another $3000 of repairs (this is an 8 year old car!). Of course some of the repairs I know I have taken care of - I now really feel like someone is out to screw me!

So the final rain shower this dark cloud dropped is when the dealer said my car was ready I dropped off the rental car before they opened - hoped a bus to the dealer. 14 hours later I get home to a message on my machine from the rental car people asking about a dent on the rental car - my heart sank and immediately I got nauseous.

Acceptance or Fear

I have a vibrant on-line life. A chat regularly with faces in the ether. Not that it is relevant to the subject of this post, but the real identity of these "friends" is sketchy at best; and yet I tell them intimate details of my personal life. More oddly than that - I hide their existance from the person I love and share my life with.

So these ethereal friends know all about my discontent with my sex life with my loving bf and now so does the blogger sphere. Many of them who know about my sexual fantasies or have played along with me in developing these fantasies see me as a very sexual person. They cannot imagine how I can spend so much time with someone who I love and am attracted to and go for long stretches of time without sex or passion.

Its quite simple really... life happens.

Let me tell you about this morning. A lazy Sunday morning. I intended to sleep late. Loving boyfriend (from now on I shall refer to him as LBF) got up around 7:00 and I turned over and mumbled something about it being too early, he said something about just going to the bath room and fell promptly back to sleep. An hour later I am woken by kisses on my neck. He says between kisses he is going to Starbucks do I want anything? I am still half-asleep and mumble - no thank you. He adds some more kisses and asks if I want an omelette from IHOP, now waking up some more I say, " and miss soaking up all that atmosphere?" So being the cute LBF he proceeds to ask me if I want all sorts of stuff, including a pony or a hand-job? Now that sparks my interest. I am laying partially on my back and he starts to rub my bum, through my boxer shorts and it feels good. I already had a morning erection, so I was hoping between the prior kisses and the bum rubbing this may get good. He fishes out my penis through the slot in my boxer shorts and starts to rub his hand over softly. It almost tickles. Then he says, "how are we going to clean you up?" Alarm signals go off, we just started, why worry about cleaning me up? He slowly rolled me on my back, pulled off my boxers, grabbed the lube and started to stoke me. It felt good but in the end it was over too quick. He went to go wash his hands and left for Starbucks, me laying there on the bed.

So, that is our sex life.

Is it acceptance that after six years this is what devolves for passion or is it fear of confronting larger problems in the relationship that stop me from trying to confront this?

Anonymity

I suppose many bloggers struggle with how much to reveal about their lives and still remain anonymous. I know the more secure I feel that no one I know will ever read this or figure out it is me - the more I will feel free to divulge the lurid details of my life that keep people coming back for more. Isn't that why people read blogs; for the lurid details? Oddly, nearly half of the blogs I read are just guys dealing with the day-in and day-out of gay life - not sex and of course the other half are pretty pornographic. I hope to strike a balance and keep y'all amused in the process.

Feel free to challenge me on what I reveal or not.

Exciting Saturday Night - NOT!

Okay I promise to finish the Late Night post, but work has been really busy. I read a lot of blogs and find it funny when bloggers promise about writing more and then whine about how busy their lives are. The fact is my life is and always has been busy. I am the kind of person that either is on overdrive or is a complete slug. However, I always have tons of projects lined up - boredom is not an option.

That being said - I do tend to have quiet weekends. Part of that is the BF - who tends to be a bit of a home body and a couch potato. His collection of dvd's and video games - would stupify any ludite into instant panic attack. Right now he has fallen asleep on the couch and is snoring. So I am cruising dudesnude.com and bigmuscle.com and decided why not update the blog with some thoughts.

First - why are the Fantastic Four movies so bad? Its not like the comic book didn't have potential - is it that Hollywood can't find a way through the hype and find the pathos? Okay, the movies weren't complete stinkers - they just lacked soul. Like any design exercise - movies need to identify their core and then the director has to make sure everything supports it. Even a camp comic movie can follow this maxim. The Spiderman movies do it and Batman Begins does it too.

Second, I chat online a fair bit. Most gay men online are sex obsessed and I am not saything that is a bad thing. I find it interesting that many of them are surprised that gay men in long term relationships can't sustain sexual intensity. The fact is gay long term relationships are like heterosexual long terms relationships - sex ebs and flows and has trouble keeping a head of steam. The reality of lgay men iving in a long term realtionship and sustaining sexual intensity just flies in the face of popular culture. I have a feeling I could be more articulate about this - but the bottom line for me is that monogamy or lack of it in the gay world may the same as in the hetero world - we just embrace it more?

Okay, I should wake-up the snoring man I love!

Late night fun

I rarely hook-up.

Occassionally, when my bf is out of town I will log onto Manhunt and see who is around. Usually this is a waste of time but it is fun looking at the hot pics. Over the years I have found a couple buds that I end up seeing a couple times a year and have a good time. One such guy is Jim. I think Jim is barely 30. He is definitely closeted, but definitely knows his way around gay sex. We chat or email much more than we actually get together and if we see each other online late at night often flirt about the nasty things we want to do. Maybe because he is closeted he has a very nasty imagination and comes up with fun things to try. Well last week we finally got together and it had been a year since we had seen each other.

Jim is very close to my height, 5'-7" has a tight compact practically hairless body and usually has a goat-ee. He has this great North Carolina accent and a shy way when we first meet that usually evolves in a subtle piggy attitude. When we chatted on manhunt he said he was tired but what the hell I should come over since his roomate was out of town. He met me at the door in flannel pajamas bottoms and a t-shirt rubbing his eyes, shyly saying he fell asleep on my way over. I smiled and said it had been too long and he ushered me upstairs. We slowly kissed standing next to the bed and I realized why I love playing with Jim - man can he kiss. His tight small body feels so good and in contrast to most of my sexual partners - he totally likes me to be in control. I gentle guided him back to the bed while kissing and crawled on top of him as we slowly made out. My mouth went to his earlobe and lightly grazed my teeth over the skin. Pushing up his shirt I flicked my tongue over his small tight nipple and he moaned softly, working my tongue down I pulled the waistband of his pjs down to expose his tapered cock and swallowed him slowly until I hit bottom. He doesn't have a big dick but it is the perfect size to swallow deep and massage with my throat muscles. I love to swallow a dick and hold it in my mouth and just let my mouth massage it. then slowly let my tongue wander up the shaft. I don't think of myself as much of a cock sucker but Jim's cock drives me nuts and I really enjoy sucking him.

So I had him stripped down and my tongue kept moving down. Even though Jim has always been a top - he definitely like me to take charge and I love to eat his ass. Slowly I sucked his balls and reached up to tweak his nipples. Sucking in one and then the other. Tongue flicking right under the sack and nibbling where it meets his thighs. He was softly moaning as my tongue worked its way downward. I pushed my hands up his thighs and tilted his ass up to zeroed in on his hole. He has such a hot small smooth little ass. My tongue lightly lapped upwards swabbing from his crack back to his balls and back. Then I zeroed in and went right for his hole. Licking and sucking. Pushing my face in to get deeper I really worked my tongue in. Laying on the bed grindign my dick into the cover while I rimmed him I was really getting worked up I had to take a break. I quickly undressed and come up for a deep kiss. He grabbed my cock and stroked it a bit but it was all too much and moved back down to suck him. That did not last long before I was back munching on his hole.

Maybe because he had fallen asleep earlier or I was in a particularly aggressive mood, but I really took charge and grabbed those small ass cheeks in each hand and squeezed pushing them upwards and burying my face deep. I was really slurping when I suddenly had to rub the head of my cock on his hole. Now I always practice safe sex, but man was I tempted to slide it right in. Instead I slapped it on his cheeks and rubbed it around. He seeemed to get really into this, writhing on the bed and grabbing at my cock. The friction of his ass cheeks on my cock was too much as I really felt close so I backed away but oozed out a bunch of precum. He scooped it up and sucked it off his fingers. That reminded me how much he loves to eat my precum, so I scooted up and straddled his chest and let him suck it out of my cock. He became more animated, sucking and moaning. It was all too much and I tried to hold off but ended cumming a bit - out of all the excitement. It wasn't a good orgasm it was one of those when you try to hold off but can't help it and end up oozing but not really getting off - he enjoyed the ooze and I fed him some drops that landed on his collar bone.

(Too be continued)

Story Part 2

Warning:
This story contains sexual subject matter containing gay sex - if you are under 18 or offended by this please do not read!

Part 2

David's tongue shot into my anus with a near wanton fervor. Mel
ground his big cock into David's pert ass. David moaned in pleasure
and I could tell by his hiss, and discomfort. I like it that he was
stuffed full of cock. I also liked that he was so hot and yet a bit
uncomfortable. Not that I wanted to hurt my buddy, but I wanted him to
remember this night. The possibility that we wouldn't be able to hook
up again was real. I knew I did. I wanted him for my stable of men,
like Mel. But I knew our continued fucking might get into a gray area
he may not being willing to stay.

After around 15 mins of tonguing my ass, I pushed Mel out of his ass.
David groaned at the loss of the plowing. I got up off David's face
which was red, flushed and covered in sweat from my ass and his own
saliva. I kissed him, jamming my tongue into his hot fucking mouth.

Spinning around, my back to his face, I sat on David's hard cock, the
head bigger than the shaft popped into my hole. Both of us moaned.
Then I grabbed him, and rolled over so I was on bottom, on my stomach.
And before David could start his own fucking motion, Mel immediately
replaced his cock into David's Ass.

David groaned feeling Mel's 8 inch cock drive back into his body. I
could feel David's cock swell at the increased stimulation to his
prostate. With only 5 long and hard strokes of Mel's cock in David's
ass, David came, shuddering on me. His cock spewed cum in me. He
started to cry a bit, murmuring how sorry he was, and he started to
pull out of me.

"NO!" I barked, and I grabbed David's posterior and held him deep
still in my ass. His cock hadn't gone down. "Mel, fuck him hard."
At the Mel started to slam his cock harder and harder into David.

"What are you doing to me?" moaned David.

"We're fucking you and you're gonna fuckin' dump another load in my
ass, buddy," I said as I held David's cheek against mine. David
surprised my turning my own face and pressing his lips to mine.

"Thank you," he said as his cock again swelled. But this time he
didn't cum. I was gonna show my buddy how to top. I knew he had some
fears about cumming to soon, and not being able to satisfy a bottom.
But now with Mel topping him, and David topping me, it was my
intention that he come to a realization of his own place in the
continuum. I rimmed him blind. I got him fucked. He was already well
acquainted with being on bottom. Now with his rimming and fucking me,
of not being rejected for cumming so soon in my ass, of staying hard,
he was going to feel my ass' ministrations on his cock. "Oh, Sean,
you're milking my cock. I can feel it," David then hissed as Mel
raked his cock back and forth over David's prostate.

Mel held David pinned to my back. All David could do was to take
Mel's fuck. Securely horsed in my ass, pinned to my back, David and I
kissed as Mel started to open up some seriously fuck action on David's
hole. Mel started to really jack hammer David. His hips smacked
against David's hot buttery anus & buns. I could feel David's cock in
my ass, reach further with each of Mel's strokes. David started to
groan and sob uncontrollably. "Oh my god!" he murmured over and over
his cheek and mine jammed together.

"Ride it, Buddy, don't try and stop it." I begged David. At that
moment there was no place I wanted to be except connected to David by
his cock. His cum churned in my ass with Mel's vicious ass pounding.

After half an hour of this unrelenting pace, Mel came. He roared and
collapsed on both of us. His body spasming, I loved the weight of
both of these lovers on me, pinning me to the bed. Mel eventually got
off, his cock popping free of David's wide open pink hole. Mel's cum
flowed out like a fountain. Diving into David's ass, Mel scooped up a
mouthful, then turned our faces, and pushed some into David's mouth
and my own. We feasted on Mel's sperm.

I then whispered into Mel's ear, "Can Dave fuck you?" Mel grunted,
"Hoo-Rah." He left into the bathroom.

Still connected by David's cock, I had David scoop up as much of Mel's
cum drizzling out of his open hole, and then draw out his own cock,
and smear Mel's cum on his shaft and fuck it into me. Now we were
totally connected by Mel's fuck.

I then pushed him back slightly, and rose up on my knees. "C'mon,
fucker, fuck the snot out of me." I grasped his ass cheeks in my
hands, making him grind his balls on my hole. David tentatively
started to fuck me. "Dave! FUCK ME!"

"I don't want to hurt you." He whispered.

"Dude, I want you to open up as hard and as fast as you can," I looked
back at him, and I knew what I would say next would unlock the top
energy in him. I whispered hoarsely, "please." My tone, begging for
him, hit him. His eyes got a seriously focused glare. He pulled 'til
just his cock head was in my butt. Then he jammed hard into my ass.
Our bodies slapped, his balls slapped my own. We both grunted.

Mel was hosing his ass out in my bathroom. We could hear him move his
bowels as David stared to really jack hammer his cock into me. Sweat
from his drenched hair hit my back. I was sobbing with how great this
fucking was. It was great 'cause it was my buddy, my hot fucking buddy
fucking me, just like the top he wanted to be.

(To be continued)

A story inspired by my butt

I have an online buddy who loves the pics of my ass he has seen. The other day he said he was gonna write a story inspired by the picture. Here is his story ...

I have a friend, crazy Ray, who has this bizarre rule that you're
either a friend or a fuck buddy. If he's interested in a guy he's
just met, there's a short window of possibility of being a fuck buddy,
after which if nothing is consummated, the guy is put into the friends
category. After that, he never looks at the guy as a fuck buddy ever
again.

I've learned that's just a fucked up way of conducting a life. I've
had a few guys who started off as fuck buddies, and ended up as
friends with benefits, and I've had the extreme pleasure of having
friends, really attractive friends, totally develop into fuck buddies.

My name's Sean, and that's what happened between myself, and my hot
fucker of a friend, David.

David's a handsome man in this 30s, with light eyes and brown hair,
tight body and an ass that is so scrumptious, I drooled the first time
I saw it across a crowded room. His ass is pert, like 2 cantaloupes.

We met at a porno club. Porno clubs are all tricky things. We get
together, watch pornos and then discuss them, both for production
value and content. I contend that the best pornos show outstanding
fucking, and thus can teach. The worst are totally mercenary, showing
uninspiring fucking that is tantamount to mutual masturbation in an
ass. The problem with these clubs is, it can quickly devolve into
jack off parties or full blown orgies.

Now, I'm all for orgies, but that's really not what I go for in a
porno club. I go for connecting with guys who share my passion for
great porno. I'm not talking about clinical discourse either, I'm
talking about illuminating things about fucking, sucking, rimming, and
enthusiasm. I know, I know, I come off like some radical loon at
times when I get up to talk about porno. And it was this passion that
caught David's attention.

Our club lasted for like 2 years before breaking up. During those two
years, I'd speak about my favorite director, William Higgins, with a
reverence unparalleled. I'd hold David's rapt attention, sometimes
staring into his light eyes, delivering my sermon on hot fucking.
When he got up to talk about his own take on the fuck scenes we'd just
scene, I'd check out his tight body, definition, cock and ass, through
his clothes.

When our facilitator decided to close the group, David and I were at a
loss. We enjoyed our near fanatical discourse, and to be fair, there
were others who also liked the lively discussions. So, after the last
meeting, David and I went for coffee afterwards. After an hour of
bitching about what had been wrong and what we would have done. David
then had the idea to start his own porno group, just as the coffee
house said it was closing up. I mentioned I lived not too far, how
bout we go back to my place to hash it out.

Coffee gave way to liquor as we sat down on my sofa to talk about what
would be necessary to start up our own porno group. We'd need a place
to do it, probably a web site to connect interested men, etc. David
asked to use the bath room. I told him where it was. As he was in
the can, the phone rang. It was Mel. Mel was a Marine who came
around every other week to fuck me. I really knew that Mel probably
was a unexpressed bottom, as I believe all Marines are, but on his
journey towards bottom hood, he got to put his fat 8" into my ass.
David came out as I was talking to Mel. I told Mel I was busy, and
couldn't hook up. David immediately whispered that he should go, that
he didn't want to interfere with my fucking.

I held up my hand and told Mel to come around two hours later. Mel
didn't like to wait, but grumbled okay. David reiterated he had to
go. I told him nonsense, stay and talk some more. But I did say I
should get my stuff ready. David was curious. He always had a keen
interest in my sex life, because he was in a relationship and didn't
get much, quite frankly. And he was envious of my ability to line up
hot men and fuck.

I'm pretty much a bottom. David bottoms but yearns to top
occasionally. So he asked what were my preparations. He seemed
genuinely interested in my routine to get ready for bottoming so I led
him on my trip. I got out my butt douching apparatus, and then was
like hesitant, but then thought, fuck it. I took off my clothes and
put the tube up my ass and filled my ass and gut with soapy water. He
watched with intensity... and I noticed he was getting hard in his
pants. He only left me alone when I was emptying my bowels on the
toilet. He was really incredulous that I did about 5 gallons of water
over the course of 20 mins. I told him it would take another 45 for
all the water to drop down and finally be whistle clean.

I then said carefully, "you wanna try it?" He got this slightly
guarded look. I could tell something was shifting in his head. It
was if he was rearranging things in his head. When he took a deep
breath and said, "yeah, okay." I started to get hard. I took his
shirt off, then he took his shoes and socks off. Then off came his
pants and underpants. My buddy was fucking hot.

"You got rad definition, Dave." I ran my hand down his chest and belly.

He shivered, "thanks."

I got another tube nozzle out, poured alcohol in a basin, and immersed
it. Then I had David turn around and that heavenly ass came into
view. My dick filled up with more lust. It was pretty smooth, and
pert...that was the word that kept coming to mind. After a couple of
mins in the alcohol bath, I took the nozzle and rinsed it throughly,
and plugged it into the hose. I ran my hand over his creamy buns, so
soft, he shivered again. I coated the nozzle with lube. I stood up
and whispered in his ear, "spread your ass for me, buddy." He
breathed really deep and reached back and pulled his hot fucking ass
cheeks apart. I saw his pink hole, so small, so tight. I put my
finger on his hole. He began to shake a little as I rubbed his
pucker. He moaned as I inserted my finger. And my dream began to
unfold. I'd dreamed of getting my hands on David's body for 2 years.
He's handsome and has this wicked ass that could turn bottoms into
tops. I lubed his hole, careful to not take too long. Then I
inserted the nozzle and after a quiet moan from his lips I let the
warm soapy water up his ass.

"David, man you have such a beautiful ass," said I as I held the
nozzle firmly against his hole.

Gasping, he said, "you have a great ass yourself."

"Thanks, buddy," I said, as I ran my hand over his buns, "a man could
lose himself in your butt."

I left him alone as he voided his bowels on the toilet, just as he had
done with me. And it wasn't lost on him that I was fully hard as I
walked away. We continued irrigating his ass until the water, like my
own, ran clear. He marveled at how empty his gut and colon felt. It
wasn't lost on me either that he was fully hard.

I stood next to him at his side, my cock sliding to the back of his
right thigh. "Do you mind?" I asked rhetorically as I ran my left
hand over his ass. So soft was his ass, I murmured, "fuck." I could
feel him trembling through his soft, smooth ass. My cock leaked some
precum on the back his thigh. Breathing heavily, he gasped as I took
my right hand and grasped his hard cock. I put my lips to his right
shoulder from the side, and kissed him lightly, as I ran my left hand
over his ass, groping, squeezing his cheeks. He cocked his head to
the side and rested his ear on the top of my head. It was such a
wonderful moment, holding my friend by his cock and ass, that he was
letting me hold him like that, that he trusted me with his sex, that
he wanted this attention. I held his cock by his base, also cupping
his balls, his precum leaking on my forearm.

"Fuck, Dave, I've wanted you for 2 god damned years," I groaned as I
turned his head and stuck my tongue in his mouth. He whimpered back
into my mouth as he sucked my tongue. I guided him back to my bed and
pushed him down, breaking our kiss. Then I flipped him on his tight
belly firmly. I was going to drive this first of what I hoped would
be many fucks. I spread his thighs, so I could see his pink hole, my
own personal heaven of the moment. I dove into his butt hole with my
tongue, which was pointed into a tiny flesh missile. David hissed as
I speared his anus. I repeatedly stabbed past his sphincter with my
tongue. Even though I'm a righteous bottom, who can bring a top to
tears with my ass' undulations, I'm a rimming king. I can turn some
tops into bottoms by merely rimming them, and I can drive some bottoms
into raving maniacs, who speak in tongues from my own tongues'
ministrations.

I stopped fucking his hole with my tongue and proceeded to lick his
perineum over his hole, up to the small of his back. "You're gonna
know what this beautiful ass is for, when we're done, buddy," growled
into his cheeks, as I rained kissed all over his smooth butt.

"FUCK!" he gasped, grinding his cock into my mattress. Dave reached
behind him and grasped my head, pulling me into his crack, as I licked
with broad strokes over his hole. I spread his cheeks with my hands
and licked the inner curve of his butt. I spread them painfully open
and got as much of my tongue into his body. In fifteen minutes his
hole was relaxed and buttery. In a half an hour of my continually
raping his anus with my tongue it was gaping open. In 45 minutes he
had his knees under his body, his ass pushed back as far as he could,
riding my tongue, fucking himself on my tongue, as I held his ass
cheeks apart, squeezing those pert buns.

In an hour the door buzzed to my apartment. Damn, Mel was here.
David suddenly came out of his rapture, "oh, shit, I should go."

I rained down a huge slap on David's ass. He yelped as my hand print
showed red on his beautiful butt. "You're not going anywhere," I said
forcefully. And though David didn't like being dominated in bed, he
stopped in his tracks. I pushed my finger into his gaping, winking
hole, all the way to his prostate. "Please." I whispered, raking my
finger over his prostate. David closed his eyes and moaned.

I reluctantly let go of David's hole, my own personal heaven at that
moment and went to let Mel in. Mel came in wearing nothing but a wife
beater, sweats and sandals. Mel, himself, was 6 feet tall, 200 pounds
of hard, rippling muscle. Broad of shoulder, with an 8 pack, blond
buzzed hair, an 8" cock, full pink lips and sporting his own bubble
butt, Mel got a quizzical look on his face when I took him aside and
told him he'd have an extra ass to fuck tonight.

Mel took his clothes off in an almost theatrical flair. He grasped my
own buns and gripped them firmly. Top energy. We walked back into
the room to find David finger fucking his relaxed hole. When David
saw Mel, his jaw dropped. Mel was right up David's alley body wise.
Muscle, it always got David going in the porno club, and in person, I
saw the hypnotic effect muscle had on the boy with the pert fucking ass.

"Fuck his throat," I said to Mel, and then got back to eating David.
Mel grunted, and went around the head of the bed, getting up and
rubbing his big cock head on David's lips. I felt David's hole throb
as Mel started to ease his fat cock in and out of my handsome friend's
face. A tunnel, David became a tunnel of man pleasure. His mouth was
a tube for Mel's cock. His gaping, man hole was my own play ground.
As he got into his own rhythm, pulling off Mel's cock, pressing
against my face, he then pushed Mel deep into his throat, coming off
my tongue, I reached under the bed for lube. I lubed my cock, and
timed my move. As he pulled off my face I moved like lightning so
that my hands where on either side of his chest under his arms. As he
pushed back against where my tongue used to be, he impaled himself on
my cock.

"Oh!" he gasped as his anus spread a bit wider for my penis. Mel,
watching my move, took that exact moment to slide his cock into Dave's
oh-formed mouth. There was my hot fucker of a friend, David, impaled
on cock. Totally impaled. He arched his ass against my pubes.

Balls deep I hissed, "Holy fuck, he's tight." I then bent down and
licked the back of David's neck. His eyes clouded with tears as Mel
held David's head in a firm grip, slightly sawing his cock in and out
of David's gullet. When Mel let David off his cock, I moved my hands
under David's chest and grasped his pink nips and tweaked them.

"Aw, FUCK!" groaned David as he pushed back hard against my pubes.
Then he jammed his face back down on Mel's big prick. Slowly I began
to move in and out of David's ass. I couldn't believe I was fucking
the hottest butt around. We fucked David. We fucked his ass, and
fucked his mouth. But so too, David fucked himself on our cocks. He
set up the rhythm once again, impaling his ass on my cock, and pulling
off of Mel's, and then sliding that big prick into his throat, as he
eased off my own cock to the just the head in his butt lips. David
built up his own fast pace and soon I couldn't hold back. I came in my
buddy's ass, as I did so I tweaked his nips hard, maybe too
hard...David groaned around that big 8" cock.

I pulled out of his ass, to his whimpering of being empty. And in 30
seconds, Mel and I had changed places. David groaned around my cock,
as Mel's big, fat penis pushed into David's anus. And that made Mel
hiss, "you're fucking right he's tight! Damn, this feels like virgin
hole, thank fuck, you creamed his hole, otherwise he'd rip apart."

I looked down into David's flushed, handsome face, his eyes looking
with so much lust up into my eyes. His lips milking my cock, tasting
my load and his own butt juice, I caressed his face. He pulled off my
cock and sucked my balls into his mouth. I groaned as he rolled them
around in his mouth. He bit down lightly at the base of my nuts, as
Mel slid all the way to the balls. He whimpered at feeling so stuffed
with cock in his hole.

Mel flipped David over onto his back. I slid my cock back into
David's mouth, and put David's knees behind my shoulders, as I sucked
his cock to the balls. So we were basically in a 69, with David
getting fucked by a hot, muscle Marine with a big 8 inch cock. I held
onto David, bracing him for the onslaught that Mel began. David
started to groan around my cock, as Mel started to really pump penis
in and out of David's hole. I felt Mel's 8 pack hit the top of my
head, wham, wham, wham. I pulled off my buddy's cock and pulled my
own out of his mouth, then slid my hole down on his own mouth.
Without hesitation, he jammed his tongue into my hole.

(to be continued)

Kol Nidre

So one of the reasons this blog is called Meshugener Gay is that I am jewish and meshugener is the yiddish word for "a madman, lunatic, crazy person". Not that I am really crazy but I think sometimes I feel a bit like a lunatic balancing the elements in my identity. Take tonight for example:

I am sitting in synagogue - taking the Kol Nidre service (I will explain this in a couple minutes) rather seriously and then in a less participatory part of the program doze off for a bit and my mind wanders to sex. I think I was having a mini-dream where I was having sex. Now, Yom Kippur is maybe one of the most serious jewish holidays. The Kol Nidre service is the first night - and is metaphorically set up like a tribunal. The ideas of judgement, atonement and self-introspection are infused in the liturgy. I find the opening prayer very moving and although I have huge ambivalence to the actual notion of God - I find the spiritual ideas and prayers to be very moving. And yet, my mind wanders to sex.

Okay, so would say this is not crazy - this is being a guy. I happen to agree. I don't beat myself up about my sexuality, my enjoyment of sex or when I express myself sexually (in ways some would describe as sinful). Rather I accept that as part of me and try to be as good and honest as I can in other aspects of my looney life.

If you want to know more about Kol Nidre I am including a link to the wikipedia page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kol_Nidre and a humanistic interpretation http://www.shj.org/YK.htm

Getting the look right

Well instead of writing about the hot sex I had tonight I ahve been obsessing about how the blog looks - since I am a newbie blogger I am trying to get a handle on how to change things without them looking stupid and learning to work with html ... was trying to post this pic ah well guess we can't get everything right ...

Horny Agnst

This is not original.

I suppose right now thousands of men (gay or not) are at work, and are thinking of sex right now or at least something sexual or at least how horny they are right now.

For ages I have thought about starting a blog as a forum for various thoughts - sexual and otherwise. In other incarnations - I have moderated a gay erotic stories group on yahoo and decided to make this more personal.

The quick summary of how we got to this place is simple: repressed jewish guy tries to deny he is gay until the age of 34 and finally has sex with a man - kaboom - the flood gates open and life changes in subtle ways. The journey to being sexually and emotionally whole continues, while I also evolve professionally.

Stay tuned