Sex after eight years

So the bf and I took a hike on Sunday and when we got back I decided to throw in a load of laundry. Didn't have a full load so I said to the bf did he have anything else to wash - next thing I know a naked bf is throwing his clothing in. Not a big deal but the next thing he says to me is - now that I am naked - you might as well give me a handjob. I wasn't really in the mood, but I am always bitching about lack of sex life so I came upstairs. He was already on the bed in position, pretty soft. So I leaned down and started sucking him. Slowly at first, partially cause he wasn't hard and partially cause when I blow someone I really like to enjoy the feeling of a dick slipping past my lips. He was starting to get hard and made some comment about I might need to suck him more aggressively if he is going to get anything out of it.

Part of me thought "fuck you" and part of me said - you bitch about your sex life, make an effort. BF has a dominant streak and gets into being serviced - and I am constantly saying I just need to get into the role. Fact is being dominated does NOTHING for me sexually, or at least part of personality fights it tooth and nail. I sometimes think if I just give into it I may enjoy it, but so far the verdict is NOT. Anyhow I started sucking him like he likes, mostly lips on the head, and hand working the tip of the head. I looked up at one point and his eyes were closed and I could have been a green alien and he wouldn't have know.

Now, I don't consider myself a champion cock sucker. The fact is bobbing down about a half-inch on is fat 8" makes my jaw ache. I find that if someone likes variation in their cock-suckers I can succeed much better, but if you just want me to concentrate on one spot and slobber on your big fat cock head, it is going to get tired fast. So I switched to just my hand. Eventually, the bf called me by my first name (something he rarely does in our day-to-day life- usually I am referred to by a variety of pet names - I am only get the first name when he is pissed or during sex). So I crawled next to him on the bed - his hand directed me to suck his nipple and I continued to stroke him.

Eventually he came - when I got up to wash my hands he wanted me to lay down so he could give me a hand job. At first I said that is alright. The whole thing didn't do much for my libido. However, he was being insistant and rejecting being pleasured (however much on his terms) probably wouldn't be a good idea. The fact is, when he jerks me off - it isn't very sensual - it is sort of mechanical. I tend to be a bit trigger happy and wish he would edge me and build it up and let me calm down once or twice - maybe even make-out or enjoy each others bodies rather than see how quickly he can get me to blow; which usually doesn't take too long. As usual after I came he kept stroking me even when it was sensitive and I was screaming for him to stop. Okay I am whining now, but at the moment I was laughing hysterically and that felt sort of good. A cathartic deep torturous laugh-fit. Maybe I do have a bit of masochistic streak.

The nice part is we took a shower together afterwards. It is one of the odd parts of our relationship, we are very kissie and touchy and cuddley and loving but when it comes to sweaty passionate sex something seems to misfire. In the shower, he lovingly scrubbed my back with this great sex salt and essential oil back scrub (oh I am such a scratch whore!)