So the other day a friend emails me and says he hasn't had sex in ages and it was cool cause the less he gets then less he wants it. So I thought - in his embrace of the idea that "the less one has of sex, the less one desires it" - there is an implied value in being released from the desire for sex. That we can rise above our lust and be better for it.
Something about that idea just rubs me wrong.
Maybe I lived a repressed sexually denied existance for too long and just won't tolerate it anymore.
I think that sex can be a wonderful element in our lives both for increased intimacy/spirituality and just physical abandon - pleasures of the flesh can be a drug and can be obsession - but they also can be better than chocolate - caught up in all of this is self-image, confidence, need for touch, longing for acceptance, love, belonging. Deep in the calculation of sex (which I am struggling to deal with) is our inherant desire to procreate - as gay men - we still have that energy - and how it manifests itself it a very complex thing.
If we are all hardwired to procreate - the need to plant seed per se - as gay men who are not having sex to create babies - how does that balance out in our psychic desires? Could that partially explain the love of cum, barebacking and other dangerous behaviors? Or is it simply that we are made as men to shoot a fair bit and we need to know what to do with this energy.
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