Sick and Playing Games

I am sick.

Not bad - just the coughing, congested, I sound like Lauren Bacall kinda cold. I haven't been sleeping too much either. Just slightly more than normal. However, today is Saturday and we had 10" of snow dumped on our fair city last night; so I thought I would have some more herbal tea, pop some more zinc and go back to bed. If I can't sleep maybe I will pull out a "firsthand" and hump the bed - and then sleep.

The game I am playing is seeing when the bf will call. He got back from a business trip last night - I IM'd him and he said he had to get out a report he would get back to me. That is the last I have heard from him. I know it is an immature child game to wait to see when someone you want to call you will call - but hey I am 42 and I reserve the right to act 8!

Part of what set me off is to of my out of town buds - who I chat with on IM - kept gushing how I should go and be taken care of by the bf. It pissed me off for two reasons. One - the passive sense that I need taken care of - its a little cold and I can take care of myself (note to self - this is another example how I refuse to let myself be submissive and bristle at loss of control even though I like to think of myself as SO NOT a control freak). Second - I knew the bf wouldn't rush to take care of me - its not that he is loving - its just that he had such a fucked up childhood that his paternal instincts are all screwed up.

Feel free to call me meshugener - I am!